Old Man Winter and the Frost Queen
OLD MAN WINTER AND THE FROST QUEEN
Parents get into arguments sometimes. It doesn’t matter how much they love each other, sometimes they forget the important stuff when they disagree. For Old Man Winter and the Frost Queen, whether ice was better than snow or the other way around became quite the heated debate. Neither of them would budge on the issue.
Old Man Winter loves ice, and for good reasons too. Ice is the sorcerer’s stone of water. It can be a tool, a prism for the sunlight, a building block, a beautiful sculpture, or used to chill a cocktail. Ice is responsible for civilization itself, preserving food long enough that people could stop moving around all the time and build villages, towns, and then cities! He also really likes shiny things and has one of those slapstick senses of humor that enjoys watching people slip and fall.
The Frost Queen likes ice just fine, though she doesn’t think that people getting hurt is funny at all. To her, snow is clearly superior. Snow can do most of the same things that ice can, but it is also her very own creation – her life’s work. For her husband to prefer ice is just hurtful. “If you don’t respect what I do, how can you even say that you love me?” she asked, tears turning to icicles on her chin. Sewing billions of symmetrically perfect crystal lattices and magically imbuing each with tiny extradimensional windows is no small task. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to stitch exotic matter when your dominant hand switches every time you successfully make a wormhole?” He didn’t. He hadn’t gotten to the higher forms of math.
And she knew that. He hated to have it rubbed in that she had that academic privilege. It always turned him cold when she talked like that. While she was off thinking, studying, and just talking too much – he had been working in the real world with real consequences – making ice in exactly the same lineage of craftsmanship that had been passed down for generations. He never had a single day off. Sure, they traveled in the same circles, but some days she just took off for herself and relaxed. There wasn’t a single day that ice didn’t need to form. He is responsible for the climate itself! Normally it wasn’t in his nature to complain, but necessity obviously comes before her pretty, little snowflake doilies.
He shouldn’t have called them doilies. As soon as he said the word, he knew he would regret it. That’s a word that, no matter how you say it, sounds foolish and dismissive. It’s one of the worst named things since moist towelettes. Communication can be so hard.
And she was furious! Even though he was actually kind of sorry, he wasn’t about to tell her that. After even more fighting, they decided that they needed some time apart.
When some couples fight, they drag everyone else into it. This was literally true with Old Man Winter and the Frost Queen. You see, wherever either of them goes – it gets cold. Going opposite directions meant that winter was a year-round affair.
That was a long year for everyone in Magicalena and no one was prepared. The flowers never had a chance to smile into bloom, and the trees were so quiet for so long that they never regained the vocal stamina to talk above a whisper. The aromatic efflorescence of the warmer months became a distant, wistful memory. On the plus side, hockey and Nordic skiing became very popular international sports and they remain so today.
But even all the hockey players were sick of winter after a full year of it. Everyone was anxious to see some green and eat a salad. People and monsters were having dreams about tomato sandwiches or taking bites out of sweet, crisp apples. Also, the honeybee population declined significantly. Enough was enough!
Thankfully, the world is round, so eventually Old Man Winter and the Frost Queen met in the middle and settled the argument. They agreed that both ice and snow are awesome and Old Man Winter apologized for calling snowflakes “doilies.”
To celebrate, the Leprechaun defrosted all the shamrocks and his shadow called forth his colorful shadow Gremlins to form into the superimposer Roy G. Biv – a stunning display of color and the first terrestrial rainbow.
So, when you see your first rainbow of spring, remember that it’s more than just a wonder of color, but also a celebration of having ephemeral seasons to enjoy.