March 29th - Possum Musicians
Possum Musicians
The possums are on the move again ce printemps. I've almost hit three on the road in the past two days and one was rooting around my yard yesterday afternoon, looking all gross with its gross ratface. The only marsupial in North America, these large rodent mammals seem to be an evolutionary throwback of total cretin status, bellies to the dirt and snoots to the wind, drunkenly blind and stumbling through life - the Darby Crash of the animal kingdom - live fast, die young. They're sexually mature at just six months! and only live two years, eating garbage and having as much fun as they can with their forked penises.
The question is: If you anthropomorphized a group of possums and stuck instruments in their hands (they even already have thumbs), would they play shitty punk rock like the Blatz, be heshers, or would it be like Bocephus loving country meatheads getting trashed on the bar rail mop up?