March 16th - LUCA
LUCA
Once upon a time in a primordial pool - hotter than comfortable - lived Methane, Nitrogen, Ammonia and Water in an anaerobic coma, dreaming sweet dreams of being in a nebulous star. And like animating any monster, they were electrified by lightning, and things combined - jolted together violently - and became something new and novel.
These new strands of primitive life were extremely stupid, but insatiably curious - combining themselves with as many other things they could touch and were consenting. The first thing they did was to start looking for a good place to eat and eventually found a great water spa that served molecular salad in an all-you-can-eat buffet.
One of them got tired of eating the same 'ol thing all the time and had grown quite large for a microscopic bacterium. Its name was LUCA and LUCA was a builder. First, LUCA built a house around itself and then floated off to see what was happening on the other side of the pool. Then, LUCA built LUCA II and then he built LUCA III while LUCA II was hard at work building LUCA IV. Eventually there were enough LUCAs to have a proper party and they got to bumpin and grindin all over the pool like Spring Break in South Beach. Still, they were safe about it and no one ever invited anyone else into their house for a private party.
Then some marauders came on the scene like a Viking sex cult and began pillaging LUCA houses. Just like LUCA, the marauders were just hungry for something else too, but some of them enjoyed the quiet home-life so much that they stayed and formed marriages. Those LUCAs were changed completely by the experience and it made them individuals. They changed their names and eventually had children.
Seeing all this go down, Lord Natural Selection and Lady Evolution showed up and forced their iron will on these rebellious serfs. And that's why every plant and animal share a tiny percentage of its genome with the Last Universal Common Ancestor.