April 27th - Uncool Dad
Uncool Dad
"I'm not cool?"
"No dad. You're super not cool," said Parker.
"I used to be cool."
"You're just an old dumby man," laughed Parker. "You look dumb now." He continued laughing. I feigned like I was hurt. He had learned to enjoy teasing me somewhere down the line, maybe from his grandpa (my dad, but possibly from me). Wren was laughing along.
The three of us were lying in bed, having just finished The Wizard of Oz (Wren's book) and now trying to read a chapter in The Two Towers (Parker's book).
"You're so dumb," Wren was hiccupping with laughter, "You're like a dumb worm that doesn't even know how to worm." Her laughter had become higher pitched.
"Whoa! That's an impressive metaphor!" I said, also laughing. "That has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard of," I said. "I may have to use that."
Wren was giggling uncontrollably.
"That's deep," said Parker. "Cuts to the bone. oooooooooooo. Slammed."
"At least I know how to clean a bathroom," I said to Parker. "How old are you now?"
"You don't even know how old your own son is?" asked Wren seriously.
"Of course I do. He's fourteen."
"No, he's not!" protested Wren.
"I know, I know, he's twenty-eight."
Wren was laughing again.
"Geez buddy, don't you think it's probably time to move out and get a job? Shoot, I had you when I was twenty-two."
"Better not use that against me when I am twenty-two," argued Parker.
"Oh, I won't," I promised, getting more serious. "Twenty-two is too young to have kids. Not that I regret a minute of it and neither would you. Still, I didn't make it easy on myself."
"You used to be cool," said Parker. "In those old pictures when you had hair and some kinda messed up jacket."
I laughed a staccato note. "Well bud, I haven't cared about being cool for a long time now. I've been too busy trying to be a good dad instead."
"Well... you are!" Parker jokingly shouted. "So there." He gave me a look of mock remonstration.
Wren gave me a hug. Parker cuddled down into his pillow. I picked the book up and started to read again.
"You're still cool," Parker said quietly, a paragraph later.
"Thanks buddy. I love you too."
"Love you dad," said Wren.
"Love you too, sweets."
"Hey dad," said Parker, but I had started a long sentence. "Hey dad," interrupted Parker again.
I looked over at him looking over at me. "Yeah buddy, what's up?"
"Love you dad."
"Love you too. Now can I please read you this epic fantasy adventure?" Both kids laughed and shook their heads at me and then cuddled themselves, as loudly as a human being can, into the blankets, as I read on. Two pages later and they both were snoring gently.
Then I went downstairs and finished baking bread for their lunches before going to bed. It was getting late, and we had plans to work on a spring-loaded piston machine before school.